Invasion of “Food Borgs”!

Facsimiles of ethnic dishes are commoditizing our food scene. It’s depressing, tragic and…quite frankly…insulting to our taste buds. One example? Credible expressions of Chinese food have almost disappeared. We’re hard pressed to find anything not specifically suited to the Western palate outside the downtown core (T&T Mall being an exception). Thanks to my friends in the Chinese Community I have had meals in Calgary that reminded me of Beijing and Shanghai but I still live with ginger beef as a staple of what local delivery spots offer. Ginger beef…does anyone do a decent job of it? Generally you won’t taste any ginger and it is a soggy, sugary, and almost always overcooked mess. Of course…ginger beef isn’t even a traditional Chinese dish…but I digress. I admit I didn’t know how bad things were until I went to China and returned looking for something that could take me back in my mind…and stomach.

Now…generally I don't get riled up about bad Chinese food because that battle has been lost…I have conceded that I need to venture downtown to get the good stuff. When I am too lazy to delight in true expressions of Chinese cuisine I get what I deserve but…what happens when “Food Borging”  (See Star Trek “Borgs” for insight) begins taking over other ethnic cuisines…Indian, Vietnamese, Japanese? Ummm…resistance is futile…prepare to be assimilated! The message is clear in Calgary…dumb your food down until it suits pseudo-cosmopolitan palates and then charge as much as you can because people won’t know any better, even when they SHOULD! Case in point…the Salt Lick mangles Alberta beef night after night, charges lots AND stays open…so …the sky’s the limit with ethnic cuisine.

 Am I too harsh? Too critical? Dare I say…snobby? I think not. The battle is well under way and things like Butter Chicken, Sushi Rolls, Pho, Samosas, etc. are being “assimilated” as you read this. And Thai food? You’re next! The Western palate is changing the true expressions of many foods in body-snatcher-like fashion. Butter chicken is often served as an orange blob with no depth of flavor…bad sushi with extra wasabi paste is the norm…Pho is often served with a flavorless broth and no discernable pieces of tripe or tendon but there is always a heaving portion of pre-packaged brisket with zero taste…and where can you find a moist samosa with lip burning heat? You can’t! All of this is okay though…because no one’s palate is being challenged. It’s safe!

 Soon there won’t be any spice. No heat. No flavor. No curry that smacks your ass yet leaves you wanting more. Maybe the Bombay Butter Chicken at Joeys will satisfy your cravings for Indian food…but I’ll be damned if I let them brutalize another cuisine on my behalf. Isn’t the attempted murder of Italian food enough for them? Now they’re trying to finish off Mediterranean cuisine in general! Where does it end?

 …if screwing up the dishes of another culture isn’t enough…some don’t stop there! They have a whole other scam to reel in the rubes. Any time a restaurant fails to understand the complexities of an ethnic cuisine and blends it with ingredients they should understand…it’s called Fusion and it justifies what they charge for it. Whether it tastes good or not is irrelevant. While Fusion Cuisine can be a great thing in the hands of the right chef it is now a term often bastardized by Food Borgs who really don’t get it, and they never will. They just want your cash. Too hell with tradition, quality, flavor, or the stories that go with many ethnic dishes…it’s marketing 101 and it’s gross.

How can Food Borgs be defeated? By those of us who will only eat and pay for zesty butter chicken…sushi not requiring you to drown it in wasabi paste to hide a fishy smell…Pho with flavorful broth and chewy bits of tendon and tripe…a spicy samosa! Now…if you’re buying sushi rolls at Sunterra Market…we’re losing the battle. Eat to live, not consume.